


Leaving

by sophinisba



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003), Lord of the Rings - Tolkien
Genre: Drabble Sequence, Gen, Post-Quest, Quest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-15
Updated: 2007-03-15
Packaged: 2017-10-05 23:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophinisba/pseuds/sophinisba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five ficlets made up of three drabbles each, from different perspectives and different points on the quest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaving

1.  
Frodo finds Gandalf's letter among his things at Rivendell. They've gone through his pack while he was sleeping, it seems, washed his spare traveling clothes and placed them in a chest of drawers along with some finer, smoother things of Elvish make, which he'll wear while he's here but doesn't intend to take with him when he leaves. And tucked in between them, an old letter, folded and unfolded and read too many times, which he'd taken along with him for sentimental reasons, and also this new one, which he's kept only because he'd forgotten to get rid of it.

This one he hasn't looked at since that night in Bree. And it's strange, taking it out again, silently rereading and remembering how he'd felt then – for how could there have been a time when he didn't believe that the lean, dark Man called Strider (whose true name was Aragorn) would be on their side? By the time they made it here Frodo had come to trust that Man with his life, and he felt as if he knew him quite well, though Gandalf and Bilbo and even Strider laugh and say he has a great deal still to learn.

He didn't hesitate to pass Gandalf's letter to Sam and Pippin, but he's always kept the other one to himself. Bilbo hugs Frodo and calls him _dear lad_, and doesn't say a thing about an envelope full of documents left on the mantel at Bag End, with only a short note to tell Frodo he'd decided to leave the old ring as well. When they leave Frodo tucks the old letter among the Elvish clothes in the drawer and puts it out of his mind. Bilbo may have left him once, but he's ready to believe that Aragorn never will.

  
2.  
Sam closes his eyes, but only until he knows the others are sleeping, and Aragorn, though of course they're safe here, still awake, keeping watch. During the day Aragorn always seems the strongest, whether or not he's slept in the night. But there's an older, deeper weariness in his face, as if he sees something terrible when he looks into the distance. Sam imagines the strength comes from so many years journeying on his own, the sadness from knowing a little too well what lies ahead of them. Sam hasn't slept easy or happy since Galadriel showed him her Mirror.

"But I'll not turn around and go back," he says quietly, coming to sit at Aragorn's side. And the Man only nods, smoking his pipe, gazing out over the River, as if they were picking up the thread of an old conversation, even if none of it has been spoken aloud before. "'I'll go home by the long road with Mr. Frodo, or not at all,' that's what I told her, and he knows it's true as well: I won't leave him and I won't let him leave me behind. But you won't be going with us, will you, sir?"

Sam imagines the sadness he'd see if they faced each other in daylight, rather than staring out together into the same darkness. He doesn't know how he'd take that, though he knows he has worse to face along this journey. "It's all right though," he says, "I've wanted to tell you. Mr. Frodo knows already too, I think, and even if he won't say, he's not angry. Even if you and the others have to go away to Minas Tirith, you're not leaving him alone, and he's not leaving you. We're all only taking different roads to the same end."

  
3.  
Merry thinks Aragorn's words to the Healers ought to make him proud to be a hobbit, but he doesn't feel proud, except perhaps when he thinks of Pippin, holding his own through the siege and the battle and the fire and then coming out into the city to find him, or when he thinks of Frodo and Sam battling through the wilderness and into more fire. Pippin and Frodo and Sam are his dear friends and they would make anyone proud to be a hobbit, except that Merry feels friendless and sad, and not much like a hobbit at all.

The thought of Frodo and Sam in Mordor doesn't help to cheer him. He knows everyone – _especially_ hobbits – is meant to be confident of victory, but it gets harder with every blow they suffer, and if Merry's too weak even to stand, how can he hold up anyone else? He's relieved when Aragorn and Gandalf go out and he's left alone with Pippin, but he's afraid, too, that he'll be left alone completely. And he really doesn't think he could stand that, even if he had his health, even if he had his pipe and his pack, and sunlight and green grass.

Pippin laughs and teases him, then helps him sit up and light his pipe. Merry thinks of Strider on their journey, how he was always kind but sometimes unreachable. The only hobbit Merry's ever known to keep such silences is his Frodo, and now Merry thinks it's Frodo's old grief that put that distance between them. He smokes and thinks how he'll never tell Théoden any more of the Shire. But he'll have to see Frodo again someday, and when they talk, or when they sit together quietly, as Merry and Pippin sit now, perhaps they'll finally understand one another.

  
4.  
Pippin turns his back on Merry so they won't see each other weep, and he marches down the road to the Causeway, following his King. Merry had begged to come along, since he couldn't ask Pippin to stay behind. But of course they couldn't take him. They said something about him needing to stay and comfort Faramir and Éowyn, though Pippin had a feeling those two would comfort each other, and Merry would stand off to the side, fretting. Really there was nothing to say. It was horrible to leave him alone, but there was nothing else they could do.

Aragorn says they're doing this for Frodo, and for Frodo Pippin will do anything, will fight and yes, will even die alone without his Merry. "Though I'd rather it not come to that, of course," he says, and wishes Aragorn and Beregond and the others would laugh at him, the way his old friends would do. He wishes they could arrive at the great gates to find that Frodo and Sam have already done what they set out to do, and now all that's left is to ride back to Minas Tirith and tell dear old Merry the good news.

But at the gate there's no Frodo and Sam, only the foul Messenger bearing their things, and bearing the worst news Pippin's ever heard. He's glad then that Merry's not there to hear it, for surely he'd have given up all hope, and Pippin wouldn't be able to bring him back. Pippin might despair as well if he couldn't see Aragorn, raising the banner of the Tree and Stars, then standing tall with his sword held high as the enemy rushes toward them. _All of it for Frodo_, Pippin thinks, and he raises his own small sword and charges ahead.

  
5.  
At the feast at Cormallen both Ring-bearers are exhausted and disoriented, but they're glad to see their friends again, and Sam at least seems awed and thrilled to see everyone – even the King – kneeling to honor his master, and praising him with great praise. He might not realize they're praising the servant as well. At the coronation Aragorn kneels again, and asks the Ring-bearer to carry his crown. Frodo walks steadily, with dignity, just as the ceremony demands. But it's only that, a ceremony, a series of gestures he moves through but that don't quite seem to touch him.

Months go by, and they see each other often, as Aragorn goes to the guesthouse to see the other members of the Fellowship when he'd rather not uphold every ceremony of state, and the Fellowship goes to the palace whenever he calls them. Merry and especially Pippin are always respectful as soldiers should be; they are changed, older and sadder and braver than when he met them, but always still themselves, ready to share a laugh with a friend. Only Frodo holds back, holds Aragorn at a formal distance, and in this as in everything else Sam follows Frodo's lead.

Then that day by the fountain, when he and Arwen stand and then kneel, it's for Frodo and no one else, only to be close to him and look him in the eyes. Aragorn would ask him to stay longer, but Arwen understands he wishes – needs – to go. He may leave Middle-earth for good, she says, but her gift is to remind him that their lives will always be woven together. In that moment they're not King and Queen and Ring-bearer but three people who care for each other, and though Frodo says nothing, his eyes say that he understands.


End file.
